The Best Dog Jokes for Kids and Parents

What breed of dog goes after anything that is red?

A Bulldog.

 

What do you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold for an extended period of time?

A chili-dog.

 

Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost?

Because Frost bites.

 

Why are dogs terrible dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

 

Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?

A New Yorkie.

 

What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?

Their masters.

 

When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get?

A lot of bites.

 

I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except…

The bark is much quieter.

 

How are dog catchers in the UK paid?

By the pound.

 

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?

He was a Boxer.

 

What do a dog and a marine biologist have in common?

One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale.

 

Which dog breed is Dracula’s favorite?

Bloodhounds

 

When you cross a dog with a cougar, what do you get?

A lot of trouble with a postman.

 

What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

 

What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?

Flea markets.

 

What type of dog is constantly aware of the time?

A watch dog.

 

Why did the two-legged dog come to an abrupt halt?

He had two paws.

 

What happens if you cross a dog with a phone?

A golden receiver.

 

What could be more incredible than a talking dog?

A spelling bee.

 

What happens when a dog loses its tail?

It goes to a retail store to buy a new one.

 

What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?

All breeds can, since buildings can’t jump!

 

What did the man name his two watch dogs?

Rolex and Timex

 

What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog?

Come on! Join the bark side.

 

When you cross a sheepdog with a rose, what do you get?

A collie-flower

 

Why do dogs love smartphones?

Because they have collar IDs.

 

Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?

Because it was a hot dog.

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